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Showing posts with label Portland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Portland. Show all posts

Monday, April 11, 2011

Debauchery - My Drunken Epiphany at Luck One's True Theory Album Release Party at the Crown Room.

This post is dedicated to my good buddy Amsterdam, who should have rolled with us but instead elected to drive back to Salem at 8pm.



SATURDAY - April 10, 2011


My youngest son's first game on the "farm team" (read: coach-pitch baseball) was a barn-burner and he scored 3 runs, batted .500 and forced 5 outs while playing first baseman. Like a child he displayed an eager excitement, but at the same time exerted his will through passion and determination.

While he got the shine, I got to play proud poppa. I happily rooted for him, became vocally frustrated when he missed opportunities, and took compliments and looks of approval from other parents and onlookers. One of the people in the audience was none other than DJ Gen Erik (of Animal Farm) who stopped by with his family while taking a walk on that rare sunny Spring day in Portland, Oregon.

What did that have to do with Luck One's album release party? Nothing at all, but it certainly set the stage for what was clearly an excellent day from the get go. See, in Mac's World winning days turn into debaucherous nights... It also allowed me to brag about my ultra-athletic and undeniably handsome - albeit slightly undersized - 7 year old son, so ha!

Fast forward a few hours and I'm kissing my son on the forehead and kissing my mom on the cheek. She tells me to have fun and be safe, as always. I grin, as always, and promise to do the former, but that I can't guarantee the latter. She rolls her eyes and smiles as I jump in my whip, as always.

Forward another hour :: Goodwill and I are walking up to The Crown Room. It's 9:10 and there is a line around the corner. Doors are scheduled to open at 9:30, and the first hour is an open bar. When the doors open, Goodwill and I look at the bartender from our seats and he asks, "What can I get ya?" (Word to Eric, my favorite club security guy!)

Kevin, Craig and Brynden from V1Creative were there with the camaras already and documented the first few drinks of the night. People began pouring in and by the fourth round we were surrounded at the bar. Familiar and new faces came and went and some hellacious conversation ensued. Trox was an early enterer and wasted no time getting red-faced with us. I'm pretty sure I met a few Twitter followers and I certainly made a few new ones. My favorite bartender in the world, Christina, was not present that evening though, so I decided not to make it a Hennessy night and just chill with a half-dozen or so rum & cokes. Sonny, on the other hand, couldn't wait for open bar to end and at 10:30 on the dot he promptly purchased his cup of Heem.

It was around this time that I decided I needed to do the Stand Up After Drinking A Lot Test. See, just a few hours ago I was asked by Luck One to perform with him at his album release. My acceptance of this task meant that I wouldn't be wearing a button-up, so minor wardrobe adjustments were made before leaving the house. Had to get back in rapper mode. But I digress... I passed the test with nary a wobble and was confident that my clear intoxication had me right in the pocket. I felt like Jackie Chan in The Legend of Drunken Master. I mean, I'm nice in my right mind, but I go Level 7 off a good one.

A bathroom break with no lines involved (#winning!) had me feeling kind of Charlie Sheen-ish and after washing my hands like several others didn't (I see you nasty effers and that's why you don't get daps from me!) it was about time to rock. I made no attempt to estimate the number of people in the building, but the building was clearly at, if not beyond, capacity. Maybe I'll ask Leigh for the official numbers later, but the point is that the place was packed, obviously.

We took the stage and once again I saw DJ Gen Erik attending one of my family events. Then I watched my younger brother maturely focus his excitement and masterfully exert his will on a captive crowd, much like I'd watched my son do earlier. This time, I was a little closer to the action though, and my rooting was magnified not only by my BAC, but also by the size of the moment.

As a respectable emcee in my own right, I'm often asked what it's like to hype for my little brother. To me, I'm doing the same thing on the stage with Luck One that I do at my son's games; that is, anxiously and unapologetically supporting my family while basking in the glow of potential greatness. On the days when it's my turn to be the star, they do the same for me and that's what family is about.

Yet and still, that does not answer how I feel. But if a picture is worth a thousand words, a video must be worth a nonillion sentances. So I'll give you two videos and leave you with some math homework. Oh, and Keak da Sneak still rocked after us. Brave guy.

Intro + 80's Back




Freestyle + I Believe



Over and out,


~Mac Smitty (the 7th Science Assassin)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Debauchery: Birffday Weekend - Part 2

I know, it's been a week since I posted the first half of this "dualogy" but I really had to do some research to find out what the hell all happened on Saturday... I'll continue with the chapter structure.

Friday Night? No Thank You
So after partying from 8 PM Thursday till 7 AM Friday, I woke up at 11 AM - yes, Friday - got fresh and headed out. What can I say, I go hard... Besides, who cares about significant sleep when there's a Tour of Italy waiting for you at Olive Garden? What a breakfast! Then I hit the multiplex (as my friend from Yamhill calls any theatre with more than one screen) and peeped Book of Eli. Now I'm not a very religious man, but this here is a movie worth seeing. The messages are so deep... and the twist at the end? Ridiculous. I'd blog on it but I hate writing spoilers.By that night my phone was going nuts, but I wasn't going anywhere. Me and the fam stayed in and played Mario Brothers Wii all night, and when everyone else bowed out, I played Modern Warfare till 5 AM. Now that's how you spend a birthday.

"It's mutha fuckin Tony Touch!"
My Saturday officially started around noon. Exactly why I refuse to indulge in sleep I have no idea. Maybe it's because my stomach starts grumbling and I know that there's always mad food in my fridge? Anyway, I spent the day eating, texting, blogging about Modern Warfare 2 (see earlier post), ironing clothes and randomly yelling out "IT'S MUTHA FUCKIN TONY TOUCH!!!" as his songs streamed through my speakers. You see, I've been a fan of Tony Touch since I was knee high to a grasshopper, and he was Djing at the Crown Room that night, so there was no way I was going to miss it.

Hennessy Privilege with a Rum and Coke Chaser
Around 7, the homie Term (twitter.com/terminill) hit me up to ask if I was pre-funking. I was like, "Am I?"What promptly followed was an invite to la casa de G. Will (twitter.com/goodwill85) where I showed up around 8 with a liter of Coke & Bacardi Dark solution. We listened to rather irritating Bay Area music which G. Will insisted upon, then hit the road so we could hit the LIQ in the Pearl District before it closed at 10. I had no idea that there was a liquor store in the Pearl open till 10 so I was super-pumped already! What's hilarious is that they run it like a club, and they have bouncers and everything!! We scooped some Henny Priv (yeah the good stuff), and I commenced to drinking that while using my Rum and Coke as a chaser. Tasted great at the time... but probably not the best idea in the long run.

The Crown
Anyhow, we arrived at the Crown Room before 10:30 but still got charged to enter. False advertisement always brings a sour taste to my mouth but I was really not going to let five bones ruin my spirit... Especially not with a half a pint of Henny in me! Besides, in case you don't know, the best bartender in Portland (possibly on Earth) works at the Crown Room, and she pours me triple shots of Henny - for the price of one - for no apparent reason. (I wonder if Christina has a Twitter-page... Hmmm...) Everyone and they mama showed up; far too many people to mention by name and I damn near lost my mind. I kicked it in the VIP, danced on the stage and the floor, lightweight hated on Epp for getting to rock his set (just playing, it's all love) and bought a LOT of drinks. Not with my money though, people seem to know that Christina does me good at the bar *pause* so they often volunteer to buy my drink if I'll order theirs. Needless to say, this works for me just fine.

I Run This Town Tonight
By midnight I was pretty hammered, and I'm not sure but I think I still owe DJ Fatboy (twitter.com/DJFatboy) a drink cuz it was his birthday. Sorry bro, I get ADHD when I drink and I can't stand still. At one point, I was outside (no, I don't smoke, I just need clean, non-funky oxygen every here and there) and ran into Annie (twitter.com/urbanannie) standing in line with her friends. Not really sure how or why this worked, but I yanked her and her friends out of the line and debo'd them into the side door, free of charge. I just remember yelling at the bouncer, "Do you know who this is?? You can't have celebrities standing in line in the rain!!!" Wow, I got 3 girls in the club for free and couldn't even do that for myself. Crazy. Later on my best dude Will showed up late - exactly when I'm not sure - but I was very happy to see him and gave him a hug like I hadn't seen him in ten years. Didn't see him again that night... or maybe I did and I just don't remember.

"Where is Mutha Fuckin Tony Touch???"
At this point, I was really diggin the spinning that Doc Adam was doing, and was fully accustomed to the fact that DJ Ronin Roc yells the lyrics to every song in the microphone... But I still had one drunken question, "WHERE THE HELL IS MUTHA FUCKIN TONY TOUCH?!?!?" Soon after loudly repeating this phrase several times, the man himself walked in the door, and I hardly recognized him. The skinny Puerto Rican kid from my pre-teen years is now approaching 40 and easily tops 200. He got busy on the ones and twos, and as I got drunker, I often forgot he was there and continued to complain that he hadn't shown up yet. Oh boy. Around 2 AM, a friend of mine - who came solely to wish me a happy birthday but whom I'd dipped on countless times already - notified me that she was leaving. Amazingly, I did realize at this point that I was beyond faded, and had her drop me off.

The Hangover
The next day, I woke up at 11... I was still drunk so I went back to sleep and got up at 3 PM. This is where I realized that the Rum and Coke chaser (some of which might still be in Arriana'a car) was not such a great idea. Sunday was certainly the lower end of my sin-curve weekend.. I'd say never again, but I'd just be lying to you. And we all know I keep it 100... Hollerrrrr.