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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Debauchery: Birffday Weekend - Part 2

I know, it's been a week since I posted the first half of this "dualogy" but I really had to do some research to find out what the hell all happened on Saturday... I'll continue with the chapter structure.

Friday Night? No Thank You
So after partying from 8 PM Thursday till 7 AM Friday, I woke up at 11 AM - yes, Friday - got fresh and headed out. What can I say, I go hard... Besides, who cares about significant sleep when there's a Tour of Italy waiting for you at Olive Garden? What a breakfast! Then I hit the multiplex (as my friend from Yamhill calls any theatre with more than one screen) and peeped Book of Eli. Now I'm not a very religious man, but this here is a movie worth seeing. The messages are so deep... and the twist at the end? Ridiculous. I'd blog on it but I hate writing spoilers.By that night my phone was going nuts, but I wasn't going anywhere. Me and the fam stayed in and played Mario Brothers Wii all night, and when everyone else bowed out, I played Modern Warfare till 5 AM. Now that's how you spend a birthday.

"It's mutha fuckin Tony Touch!"
My Saturday officially started around noon. Exactly why I refuse to indulge in sleep I have no idea. Maybe it's because my stomach starts grumbling and I know that there's always mad food in my fridge? Anyway, I spent the day eating, texting, blogging about Modern Warfare 2 (see earlier post), ironing clothes and randomly yelling out "IT'S MUTHA FUCKIN TONY TOUCH!!!" as his songs streamed through my speakers. You see, I've been a fan of Tony Touch since I was knee high to a grasshopper, and he was Djing at the Crown Room that night, so there was no way I was going to miss it.

Hennessy Privilege with a Rum and Coke Chaser
Around 7, the homie Term ( hit me up to ask if I was pre-funking. I was like, "Am I?"What promptly followed was an invite to la casa de G. Will ( where I showed up around 8 with a liter of Coke & Bacardi Dark solution. We listened to rather irritating Bay Area music which G. Will insisted upon, then hit the road so we could hit the LIQ in the Pearl District before it closed at 10. I had no idea that there was a liquor store in the Pearl open till 10 so I was super-pumped already! What's hilarious is that they run it like a club, and they have bouncers and everything!! We scooped some Henny Priv (yeah the good stuff), and I commenced to drinking that while using my Rum and Coke as a chaser. Tasted great at the time... but probably not the best idea in the long run.

The Crown
Anyhow, we arrived at the Crown Room before 10:30 but still got charged to enter. False advertisement always brings a sour taste to my mouth but I was really not going to let five bones ruin my spirit... Especially not with a half a pint of Henny in me! Besides, in case you don't know, the best bartender in Portland (possibly on Earth) works at the Crown Room, and she pours me triple shots of Henny - for the price of one - for no apparent reason. (I wonder if Christina has a Twitter-page... Hmmm...) Everyone and they mama showed up; far too many people to mention by name and I damn near lost my mind. I kicked it in the VIP, danced on the stage and the floor, lightweight hated on Epp for getting to rock his set (just playing, it's all love) and bought a LOT of drinks. Not with my money though, people seem to know that Christina does me good at the bar *pause* so they often volunteer to buy my drink if I'll order theirs. Needless to say, this works for me just fine.

I Run This Town Tonight
By midnight I was pretty hammered, and I'm not sure but I think I still owe DJ Fatboy ( a drink cuz it was his birthday. Sorry bro, I get ADHD when I drink and I can't stand still. At one point, I was outside (no, I don't smoke, I just need clean, non-funky oxygen every here and there) and ran into Annie ( standing in line with her friends. Not really sure how or why this worked, but I yanked her and her friends out of the line and debo'd them into the side door, free of charge. I just remember yelling at the bouncer, "Do you know who this is?? You can't have celebrities standing in line in the rain!!!" Wow, I got 3 girls in the club for free and couldn't even do that for myself. Crazy. Later on my best dude Will showed up late - exactly when I'm not sure - but I was very happy to see him and gave him a hug like I hadn't seen him in ten years. Didn't see him again that night... or maybe I did and I just don't remember.

"Where is Mutha Fuckin Tony Touch???"
At this point, I was really diggin the spinning that Doc Adam was doing, and was fully accustomed to the fact that DJ Ronin Roc yells the lyrics to every song in the microphone... But I still had one drunken question, "WHERE THE HELL IS MUTHA FUCKIN TONY TOUCH?!?!?" Soon after loudly repeating this phrase several times, the man himself walked in the door, and I hardly recognized him. The skinny Puerto Rican kid from my pre-teen years is now approaching 40 and easily tops 200. He got busy on the ones and twos, and as I got drunker, I often forgot he was there and continued to complain that he hadn't shown up yet. Oh boy. Around 2 AM, a friend of mine - who came solely to wish me a happy birthday but whom I'd dipped on countless times already - notified me that she was leaving. Amazingly, I did realize at this point that I was beyond faded, and had her drop me off.

The Hangover
The next day, I woke up at 11... I was still drunk so I went back to sleep and got up at 3 PM. This is where I realized that the Rum and Coke chaser (some of which might still be in Arriana'a car) was not such a great idea. Sunday was certainly the lower end of my sin-curve weekend.. I'd say never again, but I'd just be lying to you. And we all know I keep it 100... Hollerrrrr.

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