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Thursday, February 4, 2010

Debauchery: Birffday Weekend - Part 1

So as you've probably picked up on, last weekend - more specifically, Friday - was my birthday. By no means did I reach any major milestone, but I figured that turning twenty-nine on the 29th will only happen once in my life, so I might as well live it up!

My initial plan was to go super hard from Thursday night till Saturday night, but as I'm realizing, recovery times are getting longer and longer as I approach the magical age of thirty. So, graphically speaking, my levels of debauchery - if charted - looked more like a sin wave than a standard deviation curve... (I know I just lost some of you with that one, but it's cool. You'll be back.) I could probably write a novella based on my escapades this weekend, but that would probably get me in trouble with various people and probably a few government entities... That said, I'll take the other path and break this up into a a few quick sections.

The Dookie Show - And no, I'm not talking about Tony Ozier's Dookie Jam, I'm talking about a show I rocked that had a boo boo crowd. Thursday night at Berbati's reminded me why NO ONE ROCKS AT BERBATI'S ANYMORE. First of all, it was an all ages show... Seemingly only because half of the artist's girlfriends were under 21. So, put immature hip-hop fans downtown with immature rap-and-leave artists and watch what happens. The attendance started off thin, but gradually started to fill in. At one point, the event had enough people that it could actually be called a crowd, then some kid started arguing with a homeless guy outside (why anyone inside a warm venue would engage in an altercation with a hobo outside in the cold is completely beyond me) and the crowd dissipated. The promoter also broke the too many rappers rule, and by the time I hit the stage people were pretty tired of live acts. I managed to rock the 20 or so people left in the building, but... Come on son? Twenty people?!?!

Funny note: I have a friend who always dates chunky girls (says they pay like they weigh), and I ran into one of his ex's and she looked GREAT. I complimented her on her physical transformation - just to be nice, really - and now she's after me. Damn my swag...

Midnight - Escaping Berbati's arond 11 was a good look. Fortunately the bartender there did pour nice glasses of Henn, so I was good and buzzed by the time I left. So I dipped up to the Candlelight Cafe where I knew a few of my friends were getting drunk and dancing wildly to a cover band. More Hennessy ensued, and I was rather surprised when people started texting, calling, FaceBooking & Tweeting me at 10 till. It was then that I realized that my watch was running slow (gotta get that battery changed now) but more importantly, I remembered how many friends I do have. I also got a really nice call from my bro, and that was the highlight of my night.

Bom Bom Di Whopna!!! - So when my friends at the Candlelight got silly drunk (one girl started freestyling and another recorded it on her phone - can you say blackmail???) I decided to part ways and see what else was going down. Got a clue from a friend that it was going down at the Crown Room, so I headed that way. When I got there it was reggae night, and the place was packed! The friend who'd texted me wasn't there though, and then I got a text saying the crew had just left. So as I was about to leave, I ran into Leigh Feldman (if you don't know, you should really, really ask somebody) and he was kind enough to buy me a Hennessy.

Now I'm not sure what it was, but that Hennessy had me on one... I remember a random but really cute white girl dancing way to close and almost falling on or away from me a few times. I danced with her out of pity (and for safety sake) but then she started trying to make out with me... And, umm, I'm good. I quickly vanished and reappeared and within minutes she'd found a new victim. Thank God. Nonetheless, the house DJ there (whose name I never remember but whose Jesus-like beard I can never forget) really did his thing. The music was fresh and the crowd was fun. So around 2 AM I was set to leave and go home. Then I got a text, and the debauchery continued... I recall being lost amidst waterfront condos, getting angry, being calmed down, and getting home after the sun came up. Whoa.


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